"It's my greatest achievement, so now I can settle down and be super-presidential - that is, until Don Lemon says something mean about me, and I tweet the actual n-word". "I've had an absolutely awesome first year in office, a lot of people have been saying it was the greatest year in the history of America... and maybe the entire planet Earth".
As Christmas approaches, Saturday Night Live is here to help get you in the holiday spirit.
After several ornaments were placed, Baldwin's Trump asked "Where's my next ornament?" "I tried to make a Steve Bannon ornament, but his face wouldn't fit, so I brought you a Mad Ball, instead", she said, producing a monster-faced toy ball.
On husband Jared Kushner, Johansson's Ivanka said, "He's packing a go bag before the Federal Bureau of Investigation arrives". And what better way to kick off proceedings than with a surprise cameo from Scarlett Johansson, reprising the role of Ivanka Trump with her impeccable impression.
That's when Johansson, playing Ivanka Trump, hit the set and replied "I'm right here, father". It's Omarosa Manigault (Leslie Jones), the former "Apprentice" contestant who made headlines last week after conflicting stories emerged about her White House exit.
Batali lampooned for including recipe in sex misconduct apology
Subsequently, the celebrity chef apologised in a statement to The Post admitting that his behaviour was "horribly wrong". The Food Network has also put Batali's hit show "Molto Mario" on hold while authorities investigate the allegations.
"Merry Christmas", Cecily Strong's Melania Trump began.
Moore, the Republican candidate in Alabama who ran for a U.S. Senate seat, lost in an upset Tuesday to Democrat Doug Jones.
Take a look at the cold open above.
Mikey Day and Alex Moffat arrived as the Trump boys ("I made a macaroni star", bragged Erik), and McKinnon did double-duty as a tiny Elf on the Shelf Jeff Sessions ("I'm a mischievous little mongoose").